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[29 Sep 2007|02:00pm] |
ugh.
hypocritical people annoy the hell out of me.
saying i ditched my best friend for drugs.
HA!
tell me, when was the last time you hung out with someone other than your girlfriend?
oh, and missy doesn't count.
so today, i'm going out with broha and face.
broha is getting his homecoming stuff.
and i'm getting a nice shirt for my meet with the district manager today.
ohhhh yay for new jobs.
frozen grapes are delicious.
i miss livejournal.
a lot.
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| just stuff. |
[25 Sep 2007|01:44am] |
i'm listening to an acoustic version of 'baby got back'.
it's such a good song :)
so today [yesterday, technically] was ashlie's birthday.
she turned 15.
awwww my baby<3
and tomorrow [today, technically] is face's birthday!
17!!
my bffl is so old.
i still luhf her chocolat though.
it was weird day today.
i turned in like.. four job applications.
picked up one.
and two websites to apply at.
i'm freezing.
and absolutely exhausted.
which is bad because i have to be ready for school by 630am.
i kinda miss the summer crew.
like dennis, scott, jj, alsex, erica, nick, and cj.
like, all of us just hanging out.
dennis has a gf.
nick is too absorbed in alexandra.
erica doesn't like us anymore.
jj lives too far away.
which leaves like.. scott.
because alsex & cj are right here.
that's like.. nothing. and it sucks.
a lot.
my cat is meowing to go outside.
i went to the doctor today.
got three shots.
meningitis, chicken pox, HPV.
my arms feel like they're going to fall off.
hung out with buswell & justin @ pChopz today.
they returned almost $50 worth of bottles&cans.
i miss the apartment :(
i hate my parents for making things so hard for me to move in.
ugh.
sooo i've started watching this awesome show on HBO.
it's called "tell me you love me".
a bit graphic, yes.
but for some reason, i can't get enough of it.
i need a job really bad.
i have a cell phone bill due soon.
like, not until next month.
but with no money coming in, i'm kinda screwed.
hopefully i can find a job.
hannaford is a last resort :|
mkay, i think i'm going to bed now.
goodnight.
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| ugh. |
[22 Sep 2007|03:59am] |
i feel like my life is such a mess right now, yet things could not be going any better.
i'm unemployed.
my vaccinations are not up to date at school.
if they're not in by wednesday at 4pm, they're kicking me out.
i know i'm losing friends. i know i am.
i skip too many classes.
i'm enjoying this time to myself.
i hate school anyway.
i'm gaining other friends who are a lot better.
skipping class makes me realize how much i need to go to class.
weird, yes. but totally reasonable.
i need to go on a diet.
and start working out.
and whatever.
the pudge needs to go.
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| okok |
[15 Aug 2007|07:33pm] |
people need to start realizing that i'm not afraid to speak my mind. they're confusing it with me stating my opinion, and me talking shit. there is no such thing as talking shit when it comes to me because i'm not afraid to say it to your face. let's get that straight right off the rip.
i'm really stressed out about college.
i finally got my financial aid. now i just have to get my loan all situated by friday at 4pm. it's wednesday 730pm.
it's crunch time.
and i'm feeling the heat.
my mom is being really stupid about what i'm allowed to do lately.
i mean, i'm eighteen, i can do whatever i want, right?
WRONG.
i wanna move out of the house and in with the boys.
i barely spend any time down at the apartment anymore.
and my mom is trying to convince me to stay home.
oh, did i mention that i'm now allowed to spend the night anywhere either?
i'm so fed up with living at home.
i can't wait until i have enough money saved so i can move in with the boys.
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[26 Jul 2007|06:07pm] |
i haven't updated in ages.
life has been.. pretty okay. i'm PMSing right now, so i seem really bitchy towards everyone. but i can't help it. it just happens.
so, pretty much a set group of friends now. erica, cj, nick, alsex, and dennis. alsex is kinda hard to get ahold of, but whatev. i can forgive him. i mean, afterall, he IS my fiancee. and i absolutely LOVE dennis.
my birthday was tuesday. i turned 18. my parents got me luggage. it kinda made me feel like they wanted me to move out. their excuse was that i could use it if i wanted to go on a trip. i still think they want me to move out.
there's something going on right now, and i'm totally basking in it. i haven't felt this.. good in awhile. i'm so incredibly afraid of what could happen, or where it's going. but for right now, i'm loving it.
tomorrow night, a bunch of us are going out for a birthday dinner. me, erica, nick, cj, justin, dennis, alsex, and maybe scott. oh, antwan too. we're gonna have to take two cars. but um.. we're going playground hopping. dinner at old country buffet. downtown saratoga. bonfire at erica's.
kbye.
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[13 Jun 2007|08:25am] |
a lot of shit has gone on lately.
i almost got kicked out of my house.
i've made some new friends.
school is over!
i'm going to great escape today with mah baybehh, nick, cj, ian, and mikeV.
the weather isn't so great, but it's still early.
i'm going to moisturize.
BYE.
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| update. |
[17 May 2007|09:16pm] |
life has been life.
i've been under so much stress lately. everything at home has gone wrong. i'm working pretty much everyday this week. i'm failing bestsellers still and i need that class to graduate. i'm losing friends and drifting from the ones i've got. i've been having horrible mood swings. some nights i don't even sleep. when i do sleep, i wake up restless. i used to love going to school and now i dread it. i don't know what's wrong with me, but i don't like it.
on a lighter note, prom was last friday. it was great. everyone looked amazing. the boys looked so fancy in their suits. i had a great time. i'm so distraught that it's over, because now all the seniors have to look forward to is graduation. and then college. i think cj and i are going to be going to HVCC, so i won't be left alone too much. mah baybehh should be staying local too. so everything should be okay.
my floor in my room is leaking. i hate my floor. mehmehmeh.
there's only like.. a month left of school. i'm so excited for summer. so so so excited.
i got my first write-up at work today. apparently, teens under the age of 18 cannot work more than 4hours on a weekday. a couple weeks ago, i took a shift from someone over 18, so i worked 5.75 hours. that's illegal. hehe :]
this is the first entry i've had in awhile.
bask in it, please.
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[28 Apr 2007|06:43am] |
it's just really nice to know that my "best friend" is compelled to lie to me because he's afraid i'll be mad, or upset.
seriously, wtf.
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| detention. |
[23 Mar 2007|10:55pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sunrise, sunset - bright eyes |
] |
my updates are very spontaneous.
YES.
life is .. kinda boring right now.
well, it isn't. but it's not exciting either.
but it is.
IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN.
i've been hanging out with erica nonstop for the past few weeks.
that girl, i swear. i love her incredibly mucho.
oh yeah, there's nick, alex, and cj too.
honorable mention, eh?
i've kinda been getting more hours at work.
it's pretty sweet.
marking period ends next week.
ever since a little chat with someone, i've been more self-concious[sp?] about myself. it's definitely made an impact and i feel like i have to hide every flaw that i have.
way to be a fucking prick and pretty much control my life.
GREAT.
i really hate you sometimes.
uhh.. i'm tired.
and i have to get up early.
hokay;bye.
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| update. |
[11 Mar 2007|01:08am] |
ohhhhh it's been a long week.
i got pulled over last weekend for talking on my cell phone.
i got a ticket.
mehmehmeh.
uhh.. court date later this month?
things are going really well considering what they were like before..
got into a huge fight with my dad tuesday.
openmic later that night.
uhh.. school and such this week.
sucks, as usual.
erica picked me up afterschool tuesday, wednesday, and friday.
worked monday. got sick, though.
uh, worked friday. hung out with the wifeys [minus britt] that night.
plus nick&cj.
saw a movie.
crashed at jony's.
went to nick's and slept.
breakaway sports w/ broha.
progress reports came; i'm not doing as bad as i thought.
i showered. it was great.
i apologize for the randomness of this entry.
my thoughts are very confused right now.
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| friday. |
[17 Feb 2007|11:54am] |
picked up cj&nick around 945.
went to woodroad around 10.
went down the hill once.
apparently the cops were called on us?
so we booked it outta there.
met up with erica, taryn, mel, and giusi a bunch of places.
car-tagged all the way to burnt hills.
dropped giusi off // got gas.
went back to taryn's.
dropped off taryn&mel.
dropped off broha.
went to walmart with erica, cj, and nick.
was gonna get hairdye but we didn't have enough cash$$.
drove downtown.
dropped off the boys.
went back to taryn's.
passed out.
woke up at 852.
home by nine.
i've been lounging around.
and now i'm going to go shower.
get ready for work.
1230-530.
woot.
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[15 Feb 2007|01:45pm] |
so i figured i'd update because i haven't in awhile.
got my prom dress sunday.
it's beautiful; pics on my myspace.
two snowdays in a row.
life is good.
i love it.
um, i have to work later.
and tomorrow.
saturday; i know i have plans, i just have no idea what i'm doing.
work sunday.
and then i'm hanging out with ellen.
eh; what an entry =]
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| today. |
[24 Jan 2007|11:58pm] |
|
was my half-birthday.
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| update. |
[24 Jan 2007|12:13am] |
things have been great lately.
but at the same time, i want to shoot myself.
i just need my paycheck.
and for saturday to come.
and for my punishment to be lifted.
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| grounded. |
[20 Jan 2007|09:36pm] |
so this weekend was supposed to be a good weekend.
i fucked it up real nice friday night.
i let kev drive my car for about, oh, idk.
thirty feet.
my dad just happened to drive by during that thirty feet.
so i got in so much trouble.
and i might be taken off of their insurance.
and might have to pay for my own.
blah blah blah.
short story: i was in deep shit.
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| you. |
[16 Jan 2007|10:59pm] |
you've got such an interesting effect on me.
i can't let you go.
yet i can't keep you.
i completely understand your logic.
good luck ♥.
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| last night. |
[13 Jan 2007|10:55am] |
so last night was pretty fun.
Erica came and picked me up.
we went over to Taryn's.
but Taryn closed the door on us.
so we left, and drove around the school.
then went to cumby's and i got a slushie.
went to stewart's and she got a milkshake.
went back to Taryn's and waited for CJ to arrive.
meanwhile, i was on the phone with Justin on/off to see if he could come out.
CJ got there; went to Britt's so we could get her $$.
parked outside of Justin's house, waiting for him to call us back.
finally, we just called him and he came with us.
we drove up to the mall.
walked around for a little bit.
decided there were no good movies to see.
so we found the longest playing one and decided we'd "see that one".
we went to walmart.
called Sean and Mel.
they met us there.
ran into Ian and Zach.
tried on shoes, blah blah blah.
CJ and Sean were hackysacking and CJ hit a ceiling tile.
it kinda came out.
we ran.
went over the world's biggest speed bump.
went to three playgrounds total.
two in saratoga; one near Mel's house.
did a couple of chinese fire drills.
parents started calling, asking where we were.
"the movie had just gotten out."
so we all had to go home.
came home around 1230.
all in all, it was a very good night.
today, i have to work 12-4
hopefully getting in touch with Brian after that.
heading up to the mall with him and Britt.
Britt wants to get her fire&ice dress.
and then she's off to go do something else.
i'm planning on Brian staying with us.
and then the rest of us are heading out to do a repeat of last night.
or something like it.
except, i'm driving this time.
i don't know what i'm doing tomorrow; probably hanging out with the same people again.
monday, quadsquad.
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| this week. |
[12 Jan 2007|05:33pm] |
this week has pretty much been the longest of my freaking life.
it dragged on and on and on, and there was so much shit going on.
there's been fights.
there's been rejection.
there's been tension.
there's been butterflies.
there's been new feelings.
there's been new realizations.
there's been new thoughts.
there's been a complete change in everything.
i'm so confused.
but yet, i'm so content.
because i did all of this on my own.
and now i can have the satisfaction of fixing it on my own too.
taryn's tonight.
work tomorrow.
brian after.
sunday, free.
monday quadsquad hopefully.
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| updating. |
[06 Jan 2007|04:23pm] |
life is good.
everyone should enjoy it more often.
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| rambling. |
[24 Dec 2006|12:56am] |
ehhh i'm just sitting here.
too tired to go to bed. at all.
i've been thining a lot lately.
and i don't know where i am in life.
i'm so stressed out, but it's all entirely my fault.
i'm turning into one of those girls that are so concerned with boys.
i never used to be like that until this year.
but when i think about it, i've met so many incredible people, it's almost impossible to think like that.
i've put school on the backburner; that's for sure.
i'm failing government. and photo.
WHO THE FUCK FAILS PHOTO!?
i've just.. given up. i don't give a shit anymore.
i guess this is what you call 'senioritis'.
but i don't want to have an excuse. because i know it's all my fault.
i'm just being lazy.
i really need to get a job.
but i don't want to work at price chopper.
although, it's pretty much the only place i can work right about now.
i just hate being so goddamn lazy, but i don't have enough motivation to do anything!
i know what's wrong with my life.
and it's all my fault.
but i don't want to do anything to fix it.
there's so much more i want to say.
i just.. don't want to.
i don't want everyone and their goddamn grandma's reading this.
which completely defeats the purpose of posting it on the internet.
i'm so hypocritical.
i've changed so much.
within the last two weeks.
has anyone else noticed it?
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